Couple with their surrogate

Every surrogacy process is different. It is a process that involves not only you and your partner, but also someone who is going to carry your baby until he or she is born. It is important to find a setup that works for and is well understood by all three of you.  Below are the basic steps involved in the surrogacy process.

Finding a Lawyer

Legal issues are a big concern for many people who are considering the surrogacy process. There are laws in place to protect both the future parents and the surrogate. These laws are not overruled by a previous arrangement between parties. Having a lawyer is imperative to protect you and your future child.

A lawyer will be able to explain to all parties what the process will be like, what their rights are, and what types of consequences there are for each person who does not uphold their side of the bargain.  Most surrogacy agencies require that you have a lawyer, and many have legal services as part of their processes and fees.

Finding a Surrogate

There are two ways to go about finding a surrogate. First, you can find your own surrogate. The positive side of this is that the person is normally a close family member or friend. This means that you will usually be more closely involved in the progression of the pregnancy.

The negative side is the person is normally a close family member or friend. This means that once the baby is born there is less separation between the surrogate and the new family. This can be confusing and painful for both the surrogate and the family.

The second option for finding a surrogate is to go through a surrogate agency. A surrogacy agency not only offers a degree of separation between the surrogate and the parents to be, but also offers the benefit of extensive physical and mental health testing of the surrogate to make sure that she is going to be able to physically and mentally handle being a surrogate mother for another couple’s child.

This testing becomes especially important when the surrogate mother supplies the egg as well as carrying the child. Surrogates found at an agency will also give the parents updates on all doctors’ appointments and may even allow the parent to be present during these appointments.

Red Rock Fertility offers support for families seeking surrogacy & gestational carriers.

Finding Your Family

No matter how you find your lawyer or your surrogate, what matters the most is preparing for your new baby. It can feel very strange to not be pregnant and then one day suddenly have a baby in your home. Just like any other parents-to-be, parents going through the surrogacy process should start to prepare themselves mentally and emotionally for the changes to come. Staying involved in and informed about the pregnancy of your surrogate can be a helpful way to feel connected to your baby throughout the entire process.


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